so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
