Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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