We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
