i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
