I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
