Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
