alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
