I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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