you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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