Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
