they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
