How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
