You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
