dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
