She said her name was "party"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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