guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
