I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
