I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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