I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
