this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
