took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
