If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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