Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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