What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
