i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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