I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
