The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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