plz talk dirty to me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize