he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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