I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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