taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
