The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
