keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
