She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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