fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
