dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
