I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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