I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
