when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
