Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
