I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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