I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
