pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
