I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
