im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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