so explain again why im purple
no
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
