Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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