Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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