Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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