my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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