last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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