I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
