You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
